Normally, i blog about stuff i have in my mind and this is what i have right now.
CAN SOMEONE OR ANYONE PLEASE FLY ME TO EITHER NYC, LONDON, OR ANY STATE IN AUSTRALIA? THANK YOU VETY MUCH.
PEOPLE MY AGE OR YOUNGER HAVE ALEADY SEEN HALF OF THIS WORLD. DAMN IT
i am feeling tired and i don’t wanna go to school tml
I was on the bus to school this morning when i noticed an advertisment printed on the outside of another bus. The advertisement went like this: “…the evolution of photography.” that was all that i could remember, anyway it was an advertisement of a new digital camera. I pondered about this upon seeing that ad. Is photography defined by technology now? With all the digital tools/editing software, photography has being made so easy to the extand of point and shoot. Its the technologies in these cameras that made it easy, the superb auto focus, the anti-shake, face-detection, the list goes on. Don’t get me wrong, i’m a consumer of digital photography too, i have to admit that it makes things to be alot more convenient now. what bothers me is that in the midst of all these new technologies, somehow the art in photography has lost its values.
traditional photography done on film, in a way, the shots taken by the photographer is carefully considered before he or she presses the shutter. there is no room for error or you will waste the film. In a sense, alot of work is done before a shot gets taken. the same goes in the digital photography world, but you can afford to make room for errors because you can easily preview the shots. For film, you will only know the results when you’ve develop your roll of film, if there’s mistakes, you got to pack your equipment and go back to the shooting location again. somehow i feel that shooting on film really makes us think carefully before we take a shot, it helps to go through the art of photography in most aspects, it gets to you naturally as time passes.
the use of photo-editing tools have made it easier to make pictures look good even though they didnt look good in the first place. Well again i am not against the usage of those tools, but i would prefer to use it as a tool to refine the image, to finetune it and not using it for the sake of making a bad picture to look good. sometimes, it gets in the mind that “oh its ok if the photo doesn’t look good, i can always make it perfect in photoshop.”
maybe what i’ve said doesn’t make sense to some people but that is really what i felt Where’s the artistic values behind those shots? was it taken through careful considerations and planning, or was it through the use of technologies to capture that shot and edit it in photoshop later?
is there anyone out there who can really sit down and have a good talk with me? i dun care what topic it is, you can tell me about ur pet dog at home or how someone actually pissed you off on certain occasions, the bottomline is please spare me mundane questions.
somehow i realise that people who asked me the most mundane questions are my parents. eg when i am at the dining table, my dad would without fail asked if i wanted the lights on. the fact is that if i needed the lights, i would have turned them on myself, right? in addition, everyone in my family knows i hate that dining table lights cause its too bright and it makes me dizzy to sit under it. Its a cycle thing, i get asked every single day, every single time when i sit at the dining table.
anyway of a sudden, there’s this surge of loneliness that hits in, its like everyone is in their own world, they used to talk alot with you but now they don’t and i dun know what is the main cause behind it.
sometimes i find that its really true that as you grow older, the lesser friends you have. sounds scary at times.
so you don’t know where you’re going but you wanna talk
and you feel like you’re going where you’ve been before
you tell anyone who would listen but you feel ignored
nothing’s really making any sense at all, let’s talk, let’s talk
– “TALK” BY COLDPLAY
i havent been having the mood to blog about anything, maybe tonight is an exception. School has being pretty ok, the bittersweet feelings of having 2 lectures per week. put it this way, its like i’m still having holidays. the schooling mood hasn’t kick in its full effect yet, but when june 29th comes, i gonna shift it into gear 5 and speed. time is passing by really fast, before you know it, 2nd sem is gonna be over. my current module is a writing module and apparrently i have to do a library research paper. believe it or not, i’ve changed my topic over 3 times. the first topic wasn’t controversal enough, the second was too much of an opinion essay rather than a research essay, the third one was too common. nonetheless, i’m finally having a topic which had been accepted by my lecturer.
what else has happened? my unhealthy obsession with someone is seriously not doing me any good. it is such a sucky feeling to be missing someone. as of late, i get depressed sometimes out of no reason, am i sick? seriously i hope i am not sick.
i’m finally using a blackberry curve, its not the latest edition though but then i am rather satisifed with it, am currently waiting for the palm pre to reach this part of the world.
i wonder how has everyone being doing? especially those folks at church, havent beeing seeing them in weeks, close to months now i guess. all of a sudden, i am into this notion of just wanting to have fun on both fridays and saturdays. its like as long as i’m happy, as long as i make myself happy kind of thing.
lastly i dun even know why i am writing this entry, i wonder if anyone ever reads anyway. oh well, i dun really care. good night people.
A sem is finally over as of 23rd april 09. my only thought is that it was simply so fast and before you know it, 4 months pass you by just like that. It can be quite scary though at times to know how fast time passes. things change every minute and second. enough of the boring details, my biggest hope and wish is that i move on to the next sem without having to repeat any modules at all.
since the day exams ended, the first thing i did was to catch up on my sleep, the weeks of mugging have robbed me of my much deserved sleep, in addition to several nights when i couldn’t sleep at all due to the amount of stress and the thoughts that were running through my mind. i hope its not anxieties disorder though. now that the holidays are here, i can finally take some time to clear my mind and to just relax myself.
speaking of holidays, i’ve been hanging out with my classmates, if you are reading this, i just want you guys to know you people are so important to me in my life right now, i really dun know what to do without you guys. haha you guys, one happening bunch of people. we should go Wala Wala again.
all of a sudden, i realised i’ve become someone who really needs people to be around me most of the time, sometimes, i feel so vulnerable when i’m all alone. that’s when all the negative thoughts come and i freaking detest it. i hope i am not having excessive anxiety though. alright maybe enough of this crappy whining and ranting. Apparently, i am accused of not sparing a thought for the people around me. you know who you are, you are forgiven but i just don’t understand why you made that statement, its such a major fundamental attribution error.
lastly, i think i am so addicted to the “Watchmen” film, i guess i’ll take some time to read its graphic novels soon, its theme is pretty intriguing.
politicians will look up and shout “Save us!”… and I’ll whisper “no.” – Rorschach
dear journal, i’m here to rant again, because no one bothers to hear me out anyway. today was supposed to be a great and fun day, but when afternoon came, it was damn disappointing. U know sometimes when someone is down and u tried your best to cheer him or her up, but you got shot right in your face. you got accused of annoying him or her. yes journal, that happened to me today, any idea how hurtful that is? does being kind pay off? maybe i should learn to shut up and listen more. its ok, maybe he or she was just feeling too upset.
next in comms class, my lecturer pointed out to the class the mistakes that some of the groups made. guess what? my group was mentioned. she said some of the slides were out of point. i guess that means we only got 60 plus for our overall presentation, i was hoping to get at least 70 plus. i do hope moderation of the marks help though. why can’t i ever get good grades? idiotic, unfair and cruel world.
my group really put in the effort to work out the presentation and this is how it turns out to be. damn it. hard work doesn’t pay off at all! all the time spent for rehearsal and working out the script had gone down the drain. i think in this age, we gonna work SMART and not WORK HARD.
and guess what? i gonna have math quiz again next tuesday, how exciting it is. My entire life is filled with never-ending quizzes. one after another, how cool is that…
see ya journal
Please deliver me to a place that is made of shiny reflective glass on the outside, where the nice grass patches slope up in a curvy way. I want to lie down on those grass patches, look up into the sky and dream. I want to hear the sound of water gushing in the pond as well.
Please bring me to that place and I will speak of Your grace and goodness to everyone..
Dear journal
yesterday was plain horrible. it all started off in the morning with the stupid visualizer system. for some unknown reason, i was unable to get my paper place properly on it and ended up looking like a fool infront of everyone. after my short presentation of my essay outline, my mood was depressed by my mid-terms results. well, i got a B though but i actually expected more. what can i say, i think i really screwed it up, the moment i handed up the paper a few weeks ago, i know i screwed up, i dun know what the hell i was writing.
next was comm’s meeting all the way till 630pm. i do not know why out of all times, my notebook charger chose to die on me yesterday. in addition i was already late, i walked as fast as i could to the entrance to get a cab. i managed to get one easier but it broke down at ulu pandan road, adding to my frustrations. my head was aching badly also.
next at the iShop at cineleisure, i was absolutely getting impatient by the couple before me, it seems like they have endless questions about their macbook. to show my frustrations, i stood up a few feet behind the couple and gave a very pissed off look, in addition i was looking at my watch continuously. doing such a thing paid off, a technician who was having his break at the back quickly took the initative to serve me. i almost strangled the technician when he told me i have to wait 3 to 5 days for a replacement charger. my thought was are there not a single charger in the entire freaking ishop?! how am i going to use my notebook!
next, i was already 1.5 hours late when i met up with my friends and obviously they wanna wallop me. of course they didnt. next was an exciting game of left 4 dead which kinda cheered me up from all the unfortunate events.
Tuesday 17th March 09
psy was ok except that i was simply trying to stay awake all the whole time. the sad thing was it ended late and that meant i have less time for lunch. the others left early though cause their food came first. in the end, i was left with marcus, joyce and brenn. it may just be the 4 of us but i totally enjoyed everyone’s company. in a sense, they are not judgemental and not pretentious. they are really nice people.
as for me, 4 to 6 people are always ideal over meals cause everyone gets to hear each other, there is communications between those 6 people. any number bigger than makes it hard to communicate. eg someone trying to communicate with someone from the other end of the table.
after lunch was the most dreadful lecture of all, math. the funny thing is that the lecturer had his lace microphone on and yet forgot to turn it on! oh my goodness. he realized it after 45 minutes into the lecture. it wasn’t considered a lecture, it was more of he giving us questions to do.
i analysed my behaviour from the start of math to the end of math lecture
happy -> slightly happier -> impatience -> bored -> getting high ( all sorts of nonsense are found here) -> emo -> frustrated -> happy.
that’s all for now. see ya journal
